Post by jupiterlightning on Oct 4, 2006 21:38:32 GMT -5
I'm entering a short story contest pretty soon, and I started writing something. At first, I was just experimenting with using first person since I don't write in first person very much, but now I have a very good idea on how this little story could go.
Here's what I have written already. Please tell me what you think. Advice would be greaty appreciated ;D
"Caleb, it's time for school." I kept on hearing this sing-song voice ringing in my head as I was sleeping. I had stayed up rather late last night, mourning my very last evening of summer vacation, and I'll tell you, it wasn't a very good last day.
"Caleb! Get your lazy butt up!" Now the voice wasn't so "sing-songy". I literally jumped in fright and my eyes snapped open. In front of me, my mother was standing with her arms folded and with a stern look on her face.
I glanced at my clock, which read 7:15 a.m. I then glanced back at my mother and asked, "What happened to my alarm?"
"It's been ringing since 6:30 this morning," she replied, and I must say: it was in a rather calm voice despite the fact she looked pretty peeved. Maybe I was still dreaming; I hope I was still dreaming.
"You better hurry up, Caleb, you have fifteen minutes," my mother said.
She then left my room, and I slowly rolled out of bed. I'm lucky that I'm not a girl. because it would take me forever to get ready.
I was downstairs in a flash. My mother was waiting at the door with my bag in her left hand and the car keys in her right. I gave her a strange look. "Are we in a big hurry or something?" I asked.
"You're going to be late, that's why," she said. "Now hurry up!"
She walked, or should I say ran, towards me and shoved me out the front door. I walked over to the bright red Ford Taurus, why my mom likes red? I do not know. Heck, even all of the walls in both of our bathrooms are painted the angry color of red.
We drove along; mostly in silence, until my mom spoke, "I'm so excited for you."
I raised my eyebrow. "Why?"
"It're your freshmen year of high school!"
"Um. Mom, I don't think you know this, but being a freshmen isn't a good thing..."
"Why not, sweetie? It's your first year of high school. You're fourteen-years-old. My goodness you're growing up so fast!"
I think my mother had lost it, seriously. I can't even tell if she's in her same old grouchy self, or some really happy T.V. mom. Something is very strange and I don't like it.
I turned my head to look out the car window. What I saw was very freaky. "Mom. do you see that clown cycling down the road and all those freaks walking around?" I asked.
"What was that, honey?"
I rolled my eyes and looked at her, "Do you- ahh!" I screamed in terror.
Suddenly, my mom slammed on her brakes and slowly turned her head. Her eyeballs were dangling down her face like earings, all of her teeth were missing, some of her skin was missing and to top it off, she had blood everywhere on her face. She let out a sadistic sounding laugh as I frantically tried to unbuckle my seatbelt, but to no avail.
She kept on coming closer and closer to me. I could smell her nasty, hot breath, and before I knew it, she grabbed me by the neck. I screamed again. Then, I heard a ringing noise. I opened to eyes and realized that I was in my room and my clock was going off. I looked at it and turned it off. All of the random craziness had only been a dream, or so I thought. . .
Here's what I have written already. Please tell me what you think. Advice would be greaty appreciated ;D
"Caleb, it's time for school." I kept on hearing this sing-song voice ringing in my head as I was sleeping. I had stayed up rather late last night, mourning my very last evening of summer vacation, and I'll tell you, it wasn't a very good last day.
"Caleb! Get your lazy butt up!" Now the voice wasn't so "sing-songy". I literally jumped in fright and my eyes snapped open. In front of me, my mother was standing with her arms folded and with a stern look on her face.
I glanced at my clock, which read 7:15 a.m. I then glanced back at my mother and asked, "What happened to my alarm?"
"It's been ringing since 6:30 this morning," she replied, and I must say: it was in a rather calm voice despite the fact she looked pretty peeved. Maybe I was still dreaming; I hope I was still dreaming.
"You better hurry up, Caleb, you have fifteen minutes," my mother said.
She then left my room, and I slowly rolled out of bed. I'm lucky that I'm not a girl. because it would take me forever to get ready.
I was downstairs in a flash. My mother was waiting at the door with my bag in her left hand and the car keys in her right. I gave her a strange look. "Are we in a big hurry or something?" I asked.
"You're going to be late, that's why," she said. "Now hurry up!"
She walked, or should I say ran, towards me and shoved me out the front door. I walked over to the bright red Ford Taurus, why my mom likes red? I do not know. Heck, even all of the walls in both of our bathrooms are painted the angry color of red.
We drove along; mostly in silence, until my mom spoke, "I'm so excited for you."
I raised my eyebrow. "Why?"
"It're your freshmen year of high school!"
"Um. Mom, I don't think you know this, but being a freshmen isn't a good thing..."
"Why not, sweetie? It's your first year of high school. You're fourteen-years-old. My goodness you're growing up so fast!"
I think my mother had lost it, seriously. I can't even tell if she's in her same old grouchy self, or some really happy T.V. mom. Something is very strange and I don't like it.
I turned my head to look out the car window. What I saw was very freaky. "Mom. do you see that clown cycling down the road and all those freaks walking around?" I asked.
"What was that, honey?"
I rolled my eyes and looked at her, "Do you- ahh!" I screamed in terror.
Suddenly, my mom slammed on her brakes and slowly turned her head. Her eyeballs were dangling down her face like earings, all of her teeth were missing, some of her skin was missing and to top it off, she had blood everywhere on her face. She let out a sadistic sounding laugh as I frantically tried to unbuckle my seatbelt, but to no avail.
She kept on coming closer and closer to me. I could smell her nasty, hot breath, and before I knew it, she grabbed me by the neck. I screamed again. Then, I heard a ringing noise. I opened to eyes and realized that I was in my room and my clock was going off. I looked at it and turned it off. All of the random craziness had only been a dream, or so I thought. . .